A Lesson in Contentment

At one time or another each of my children has had the same problem. They sometimes have trouble taking the time they need to really do a good job on their schoolwork. They rush through their math lesson, making careless mistakes on problems that they know how to do. Their handwriting gets sloppy and sometimes unreadable; they forget to do a certain part of their assignment. If it is test day, they will sometimes bomb the test, because they have already mentally “checked out” for the day. They are not focused on the work in front of them, because they are already looking forward to what they want to do after school.

One thing that seems to make this issue even more pronounced is if one or more of their siblings has already completed his coursework for the day. Sometimes the remaining student sits there, comparing their “life” to that of their brother or sister. Sometimes they will even say, “It’s not fair! So-and-so is already done with school!!”

As the parent, I struggle with how to change this bad habit in the lives of my children. I try to explain the need for them to try their best as to the Lord. I point out silly mistakes that we both know they could have prevented. At times I make them redo some work that is sloppy, and I point out that it actually took longer than if they had taken their time and done it right the first time. I tell them not to compare themselves to their siblings because “it’s not a competition”. They don’t seem to remember that, the other day, that same sibling was sitting at his desk late into the afternoon, trying to complete a challenging assignment. I try to get them to understand the benefit of focusing on the task at hand and giving it their full attention.

Each Woman’s Struggle

But aren’t we the same way?? We all struggle with being content in the place and position God has put us. I remember when I was still single, watching friends meet their Prince Charming and get married. As someone who got married a little later in life, I envied those friends and wished I could be in their place as a happily married woman. I have seen women finally get married and then become discontented that they did not have any children. Although I believe it is natural to desire to have a baby, these women focused on that goal so much that they were not happy with their life at that time.

What about once we have that beautiful gift from God? How many weeks/months of nighttime feedings and round-the-clock newborn care does it take before we are desperate to be out of that stage of life? The toddler phase looks easier from a distance until we are there. Then we dream of a child who is better behaved and not so busy getting into everything. This picture gets more complicated if one has a new baby about every two years and is dealing with different children in these different phases all at once. Have you ever been to the point where you just wished they would all grow up and not need you anymore?

I know moms who right from their baby’s birth have it as their goal to homeschool their children. This is a great goal!! But they keep their eyes on that target and miss the younger years. Their discontentment with their current situation keeps them from enjoying the freedom of movement and daily scheduling they can have when their children are young and they are not yet tied down to a homeschooling schedule. Many of these moms also start their youngster off in a hardcore curriculum and schedule the child is 3 or 4 years old. Unfortunately, they and their children often experience burn-out, because it was too much too soon. Their enthusiasm backfired!

Have you ever looked around your house and been overwhelmed with the mess made by so many busy little ones? Do you feel like you spend all day making the rounds of the house, tidying it up, only to find at the end of the day that they were faster at destroying it again than you were at cleaning it? Do you sometimes just wish they would grow up and leave the house, so you can have it stay clean for just one day??

Why We Do This

Why do we struggle with this so much? The simple answer is that we all have a sin nature. Beyond that, though, I think we all struggle with discontentment because life is hard! We all have some serious difficulties at each step of life. These may be God’s correction for something in our life or it may be Him testing our faith; it might also simply be the result of living in a fallen world with other sinners. No matter what the reason, when things get challenging, we just want to escape the trouble or pain! We look outside the window of our life’s journey and catch a glimpse of someone else who seems to be having an easier time or may seem to be enjoying her stage of life more than we are. We covet that life, as unrealistic as our view of it may be.

In all of these stages of life, it is so easy to see someone else in a different stage and think they have it better. The next thing you know, you are wishing that you could be done dealing with your stage and could be where they are, instead. You want to fast forward to a different time of life and leave behind the problems that you are dealing with now. But do you realize that the other person has problems of her own?

What the Bible Says

The Bible has some things to say about contentment:

Hebrews 13:5 “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for He hath said, ‘I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.'”

When we are not being content with the things that God has given us, then we are usually being covetous of what someone else has. We are not happy in the stage of life we are in; instead, we wish we were in the stage that our friend is in. God commands us to not have that covetousness in our life, but rather to be content where He has us right now. Not only that, but He promises to be with us as we go through that stage with all of its difficulties.

Paul was an example of contentment in Philippians 4:11: “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” In the following verses he talks about the range of different situations he had been in. Then he gives the secret to his ability to be content in verse 13: “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Jesus Christ gives us the strength to be content, even in difficult circumstances.

Discontentment often leads to murmuring and complaining. It is hard to keep that negative, woe-is-me attitude to ourselves. The next thing we know everyone around us knows we are not happy where we are. We spread our bad attitude to our family and friends and are a terrible testimony of God’s blessings. But we need to remember: Didn’t God put us in our current situation? Doesn’t He know we are there? Isn’t He capable of bringing us joy, even in the midst of a difficult day? But we are depending on our own strength, comparing ourselves to others, and not living a Spirit-filled life!

Philippians 2:13-15 says, “For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure. Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world.” God is the one Who put you where you are for His pleasure. You need to go about your day without murmuring and complaining. When we, as His followers, obey this, we will stand out in our crooked world and shine for Him.

So, instead of wishing our day would go by faster and wanting to step into someone else’s life, we need to focus on the tasks at hand that the Lord has given us. We need to do our best in even the most menial chores. Instead of complaining about something our little one did, we need to notice the blessings that come with that particular stage in life. After all, they are only going to be small once!

Make the Choice to Value Instead of Complain

We have choices every day. We could…

…complain about our arms hurting from always carrying the little one around OR enjoy the snuggle time that will only last a little while.

…wish there weren’t so many spills and messes and a disorderly house OR be grateful for the time we have with our little ones, because it won’t be that many years in the future when the house will stay much more clean but will also be very quiet and still.

…wish we already had kids old enough to homeschool and be involved in activities, sports teams, and musical groups OR enjoy the leisurely time to go to the park, meet up with friends, or go shopping during the day whenever you want without being the taxi driver for our kids’ many events.

…discontentedly long for the day when we have an opportunity for an uninterrupted conversation with our husband at the dinner table OR recognize the benefits of an active, sometimes energetic and immature, discussion about life issues with all the faces at the table.

…wish that we had an older child who is a better helper or worker around the house OR be glad that our little one is willing, if not very talented, and teach that small worker how to do a good job when he is older.

My Challenge to You

I know it is cliche, but there is something to the saying “Bloom where you are planted.” My challenge to you (and to myself, as one who struggles with these issues) is to be grateful for the things that God has brought into your life and be fully present in that moment of time. Look for the blessings of what is going on around you, rather than complaining about the difficulties or coveting someone else’s life. Do your best at each task that God has for you, even if it isn’t the most exciting or notable in the world’s eyes. With God’s help, keep struggling through the difficulties with Biblical solutions.

Colossians 3:23-24 “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.”